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Raging
Hearts Review
Free dating tips, advice, news and resources to keep you up to date on the
latest dating information.
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The Art of Online Flirtation
Just as you flirt with people offline, you can flirt online as well, and
just like offline flirting, online flirting is a skill that must be learned.
Online dating requires online flirting to let people know that you are interested
in them. Since they can't see your body language, you have to learn to use
an online flirting language.
In the offline world, you may look at someone with smoldering bedroom eyes,
wink, smile, wave, or touch them lightly. But you also flirt, offline, with
speech - with what you say, and how you say it. Since nobody online will
see your bedroom eyes, you have to learn how to use speech effectively online
- especially since that speech will be typed, and not spoken.
Many online dating sites will allow you to sent 'flirts' or 'smiles' to people
that you are interested in to break the ice. This covers the type of flirting
that you do offline, such as stares, smiles, etc. But what you have to remember
is that sending a 'flirt' or a 'smile' is just simply an ice breaker, and
you must follow through with actual conversation.
First, your communication should be natural. Don't try too hard. Look at
the person's profile, and if you have a common interest, start there. Don't
write a book - write a short note. For instance, if you both have an interest
in bowling, write a short note, tell them that you play on a league, how
it did in the last tournament, and ask them if they play in a league. Short
and sweet gets things going, and a common interest is a great place to start.
Point out something about the interest, a little on yourself in relation
to that interest, and then put your focus on them, and their relationship
to that interest.
Keep it light, and keep it positive. Be interesting. Ask questions about
things that you find in their profile, and of course avoid questions that
can be answered with a simple yes or no. Use gentle teasing techniques, but
be sure that you don't go too far, and that the person knows that you are
just kidding them. Talk to them in your email or on IM, just as you would
if they were standing in front of you - conversations are not one sided,
use the give and take method.
If you want a reply, you have to work for it. Again, avoid simple yes or
no questions, but do sign off with a question that needs to be answered.
You can also get replies by using the art of mystery. For instance, 'I have
a secret that I use when I bowl that really improved my game.' If the other
person is an avid bowler, they will want to know what that secret is.
Once the communication has started, you have to keep it going, without appearing
to be too eager. The art of flirtation still involves the art of playing
hard to get! Never doubt that - people want what is harder to attain. Keep
the conversation going, but space it out - just as you wouldn't want someone
to know that you were waiting by the phone for their call, you also wouldn't
want someone to know that you were glued to the computer waiting for their
email!
At the same time, don't play too hard to get! You can let them wait an hour
for a reply, but don't make them wait longer than a day! If you do, they
will assume it is a brush off and move on. You have to learn how to do this
balancing act, because it is an essential ingredient in the art of online
flirting.
If a conversation doesn't smooth out and feel natural after a few exchanges,
move on. You will know what feels right for you, and if you are having to
work too hard for the conversation, this probably isn't the person for you.
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