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 Raging
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Free dating tips, advice, news and resources to keep you up to date on the
latest dating information.
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When Your Profile Isn't Working
Online dating is not only fun, it can be very exciting. Getting started is
very easy - you sign up, pay your fee, create your profile, and start
participating at the website, and sending and receiving communication from
others. You go into it expecting and hoping for good results - but you don't
always get them. What should you do if you aren't getting good responses?
Creating a winning profile is an absolute necessity in the online dating
world. There are millions of people looking for love online, and your profile
is in competition with pretty much half of them! Your profile is the bait
that you use to get the right fish on the line, and the communication that
follows is how you reel them into the boat! But you've got to attract them
to the hook first!
Your problem might not be attracting the fish, your problem might be in
attracting the wrong kind of fish - people that don't meet your qualifications
or expectations. This problem is just as bad as the first problem of not
attracting anyone at all!
First, you have to be aware that action is necessary. You can leave it like
it is, and continue to be a wallflower, but if you want online dating success,
you've got to take action to correct the problem - your profile. Obviously,
if it isn't getting the right attention, it needs to be redone.
Your profile should be an accurate portrayal of who you are, and what you
are looking for, but at the same time, it needs to really focus on your positive
attributes and your strengths. It should be easy to read, and it shouldn't
contain any grammatical errors. The profile is a general outline of who you
are, so, if necessary, make an outline, and then start filling in the blanks.
Profiles typically consist of your physical appearance, your habits, your
interests, and your background. Some of this information can sound really
boring, and you've got to learn how to dress it up, without being dishonest.
For instance, if you like walking, just saying that you like long walks is
boring. However, if you say that you enjoy walking with great conversationalists,
and discovering the world around you while doing so, that isn't quite so
boring.
Just saying that you like woodworking is boring, but if you say that you
like to create beautiful art, such as furnishings, pictures, and statues
with wood, that is more interesting. Saying that you are a doctor is boring.
Saying that you are a world renowned brain surgeon - if you are - is better.
Again, be honest, and look at what you have said about yourself, and dress
it up, and make it sound more interesting, without losing the honesty. Talk
about you, and make it interesting, but then move on to what you are looking
for - it can't all be about you. Make what you are looking for interesting
as well.
For example, if you are looking for someone that enjoys long walks, say that
you are looking for someone to share long, adventurous walks with, which
will allow you both to explore the world around you. If you are looking for
a person who is well-educated, say that you are looking for a college graduate
that you can have intellectual and meaningful conversation with. But try
to stick to qualities and interests, and avoid mentioning professions or
education. The love of your life may have a very high paying job, with absolutely
no college education! College does not necessarily equal intelligence or
ability.
As you can see, it isn't necessarily what you are saying that is important
as it is how you are saying it - I like to take walks. I like to take long
adverturous walks that enable me to explore and discover the world that I
live in. Do you see the difference? I am afraid of heights. I like to keep
my feet firmly planted on the ground, where I can see things close up and
personal. A negative, and a positive. Keep things positive!
Your profile is essentially a sales letter, and you are the product that
you are trying to sell. It isn't a personal diary. It isn't your life story.
It should include bits and pieces of interesting information about you, and
those bits and pieces should be written in an interesting way. Also, when
writing what you are looking for in others, don't make a list of all of the
things that you are not looking for as well. This just drives people away!
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