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Mastering Your Communication Skills

Have you ever been told that you are too quite? Do you think of yourself as 'too quite'? Has your significant other ever said to you, 'You just don't listen?' If either is the case, you may need to sharpen your communication skills.

Communication is a two-way street. Picture a conversation between 'A' and 'B'. 'A' speaks, 'B' listens and then 'B' speaks and 'A' listens. It's is a very good plan and as long as one listens while the other speaks, there is communication.....maybe.

Some people think that when communication skills are being discussed that the entire idea is to give voice to your own thoughts and ideas. But communication requires both speaking and listening. You can't respond to what you don't understand and if you don't make convey your thoughts and ideas effectively others won't understand you.

Other people think that good communication requires speaking in long compound sentences and using big words. That couldn't be further from the truth. You speak using terms and phrases that those who are listening understand and can relate to.

Some of the 'experts' say that those who are quite by nature must have low self esteem and be suffering from a lack of self confidence. I really don't think that at all. Some people are just not talkers, they are better at listening. When these quite people do speak, they usually have something to say. They will have listened to and understood what has been said, taken time to think about it, and when they respond, their words will have meaning. However, these quite ones need to master communication skills. Talking is half of communication.

Then there are those who talk and never really listen to what others say. These people also need to master communication skills. A full half of communication is the ability to listen to and understand what others have to say. Real listening is more than just hearing words and understanding the spoken word. People communicate with voice inflections and body language as well as with the spoken word.

The bottom line is that good communication skills require TWO things; talking and listening.

Talking:

1. Speak clearly and don't mumble. If you slur your words or mumble, others cannot understand and grasp the meaning of what you are saying.
2. Speak loudly enough to be heard but don't speak too loudly. It has been proven that a whisper is more powerful than a yell.
3. Have something to say when you speak. If you are naturally quite, then prepare a list of topics before a meeting or a date so that you will be more confident.

Listening:

1. Be quite when you others are speaking. Listen to the words that they are saying and try to understand them.
2. Not talking is not the same thing as listening. You listen with your ears as well as with your eyes and your brain must be engaged for either to work.
3. Pay attention. You can't be thinking about what you are going to say and be really hearing and understanding what the other person is saying.