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Overcoming Jealousy

Jealousy! Jealousy is that green-eyed monster that has wrecked more relationships than just about anything else. What causes people to be jealous? Basically the cause of all jealousy can be traced to one of two things. The very jealous person has low self-esteem and very little self-confidence or they are a control freak. They need to have total control over everything in their world.

Extreme jealousy is a symptom of much more serious underlying issues. Jealousy is not a stand alone problem.

The person who has low self esteem and a very little self-confidence doesn't believe that another person can like (or love) just them. They don't believe that they are smart enough, pretty enough, handsome enough, successful enough, etc. to be of great value to another person. In short, they don't think much of themselves so they don't see why anybody else should.

Control freaks want total control. They do not want a relationship, they want ownership. They do not view a partner as a person but rather as a possession. Jealousy creates a toxic relationship that will often escalate into a violent and abusive relationship.

Jealousy is not healthy. If you are very jealous of the people with whom you have any kind of relationship, you need to work at overcoming those feelings of jealousy. If you don't overcome them, you are very likely to lose the relationships altogether.

Sometimes jealousy is learned at a very early age. It can even begin with sibling rivalry. Children vie for the attention and approval of their parents. Parents who encourage this kind of sibling rivalry are sowing the seeds of jealousy in their children. The feelings carry over into adulthood and cloud adult relationships.

The first step toward overcoming jealousy is to learn to like yourself. You need to do whatever it takes to build your own self esteem and self confidence. There are many ways in which building self esteem and self confidence can be accomplished. There are courses that can be taken both online and off line that are designed to help you build your feeling of self worth. It is very wise to seek help when you need it and if you are an extremely jealous person, you do need help. Jealousy is just a symptom of problems that you need to deal with.

If you know that you have control issues, you need to do something about them. Sometimes those who have control issues don't even realize that they have controlling personalities. They just see themselves as in charge of their own world and their own destinies. But, if you are an extremely jealous person, that jealousy is a symptom of a more serious problem and one that you can and should do something about. Seek help before a court orders you to.

Sadly, some people think that is a dating partner is jealous, it means that the dating partner loves them but that is simply not the case. Jealousy does not translate into love. It translates into unhappiness, possessiveness and can even escalate into violence. Jealousy isn't 'cute' and it isn't flattering. Jealousy is a symptom.